Apparently my boss thought MOVEMBER men’t she didn’t have to shave her legs. Playing footsie with Chewbacca was fun! WOOF!

Yet again the Office Party Bitches (OPB) are planning another crappy office party.
For them OPB means: Office Party Bashers.
D-U-M-B!!!
I hate those idiots! They make everyone play a part in all the “fun”. More like commiting to f*ck.
“Oh dude, bring the cake, okay?” they say. “No, I`d rather bring the shit, okay?” my answer.
“Bring the cherry suckers, man!” they say. “Since when does your cock taste like cherries?”
It goes on and on, everyday. Then comes the dreaded mother f*cker party.
My friends and me go into the other rooms to f*ck the wet stripperes we hired.
The OPB come inand ruin it all. It usually happens when I`m blasting somebody`s virginity.
Yeah that`s my story.
Hope you assholes liked it!

Fuck my boss. No seriously, if you have HIV/AIDS, please fuck my boss.

I had my 3rd job interview for a job I really wanted in la. I accidentally slept in the morning of the the interview, rushed to LA in a frenzy, showed up an hour late, and found out the interview wasn’t until the next day.

My boss clogged the toilet and blamed it on me in front of this chick at work I have a crush on. Now she thinks I’m gross. Thanks boss. Hope you like the taste of my nuts rubbed on your homemade lunch that you always leave in the break room fridge!

I was having the best dream that I was yelling at my boss. Unfortunately, I sleep talk, and that nap came during a meeting at work.

I found out today they have cameras in the storage room at work. The same storage room I used to steal crap from work out of. Time to update my LinkedIn profile.

I had to give an old man a shot today. The old man starting crying before I even brought the needle out. When I returned to give the man his shot I saw him running down the hall. He came in a wheelchair.

My friend and I who are both managers had to give all our employees a drug test today. So, him and I thought it would be a super good idea to get high before we began the test. Our boss came and made us take a drug test too.

I got a company email from my boss today saying that his cat has died. Im suppose to attend the funeral.