I once took a credit card from a young woman at a table with 2 other men. Before I could even flinch as to move away from this table of 3 personas, one of the men shouted at me,
“Hey ,don’t you dare take her card!!”
Sorry, I replied, she gave it up first, I don’t have time to sit and wait for you guys to argue and dissect who has the biggest ego at the table, so I’m going to run her card and then I’ll bring it back and she can sign it and you all can continue on with your evening.
Not 30 seconds later, after I swiped the woman’s card, the man who had yelled at me just a minute prior decided he needed a little one on one time with me. The gentlemen of discussion, ran to me almost out of breath, but not entirely, unfortunately for me.
“You can’t take her card, bro! That’s not right!!”
Excuse me?? I replied.
“Look, I don’t know what country you’re from… but, this is America and I’m from America!! And in America, the man pays for the bill! Always! The woman never pays the bill. She cannot.
At this time, I had to pause and wait and see if this guy really knew what he just said….
Obviously, my perfect english and blond hair and blue eyes obviously made his assume I was nigerian, perhaps?
After I swiped his finger off of my chest, that was poking a hole in my sternum, I contemplated hitting him upside the head with the water pitcher near my right hand. Instead I got my rebuttal with my words.
Actually, I’m from Chicago. I’m pretty sure…yeah…pretty sure last time I checked, that Chicago, which is a city in Illinois, it’s in the midwest next to these places named Iowa, Michigan, Wisconsin, you may have heard of them, I’m not sure where YOU’RE exactly from. Anyway actually, funny story, in this place that some refer to as ‘Chicago’…the women can pay for the bill too! Wow! I know, crazy story, right!?? Who would have thought it possible. But, it’s true. Now listen, here’s the deal. I’m going to give your friend her card back and you’re going to step away right now or I’ll have security take you outside or if you’d like we can settle this right now, if you really have a problem with me and you’d like to take this further….
Suffice to say, he declined my offer of a more intimate conversation. He obviously had a few brain cells firing to understand sarcasm. Maybe. Maybe not.
i normally wouldn’t be such an all out sarcastic A-hole to a customer, but his idiocy just made it necessary.

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